2| the nuance of resistance
(originally posted 14.03.24)Sometimes we push through and find grace at the other side, other times it's an important signal to respect...
In Taoism there is a notion called Wu Wei or effortless action, a flowing with life without rush or force or a desire to manipulate. It is a shift of focus from picking the fruits of outcome to planting seeds of growth. When running Kurinuki workshops in Nairobi I encourage exactly this, a letting go of the attachment to a specific end form and instead a resting in the process of making…simply moving with the clay, allowing emotions or unspoken words to be expressed through the clay. It usually takes about an hour into the workshops until people feel comfortable with this; we are so used to having an end product in mind, but does that limit possibilities? Where would your imagination wander if you paid attention to the creative act instead?
“All art is a work in progress. It’s helpful to see the piece we’re working on as an experiment. One in which we can’t predict the outcome. Whatever the result, we will receive useful information that will benefit the next experiment. If you start from the position that there is no right or wrong, no good or bad, and creativity is just free play with no rules, it’s easier to submerge yourself joyfully in the process of making things. We’re not playing to win, we’re playing to play. And ultimately, playing is fun. Perfectionism gets in the way of fun. A more skillful goal might be to find comfort in the process. To make and put out successive works with ease.”
Rick Rubin, The Creative Act: A Way of Being
This is something I'm currently experiencing a lot in my daily life. I am learning to notice where there seems to be an energetic pull and lean towards it even if I have no clue where it might be headed. Instead it's a simple check in to see whether there is values alignment and whether I am satisfied with my motivation for leaning in. Some would say it is a surrendering of sorts (yes, I did read The Surrender Experiment in January!) which I've found to be equally liberating and scary.
Liberating as I start to recognise my minute self simply cannot control life or go at life alone. Scary because I am used to having a ‘grand plan’, that usually has income as a central pillar. And in reverse, when I notice that I've entered an egotistical state of grasping - perhaps after an opportunity or connection or state of being - then I have been actively choosing, with a smile, to let it go. I sense there is too much resistance for this to be my path…
Now, whilst I love this concept of effortless action in theory, it doesn’t resonate entirely. I have a few frequent health practices that continue to feel full of effort, and that I feel intense resistance towards.
The first is my weekly 36 hour fast that I have been doing since the start of 2023; without fail I get to about 6pm (24 hours post my last meal) and I stand in front of the open fridge, caressing yesterday’s hummus, staring at the miso, smelling the ripe, flirtatious mango. I sometimes even take food out, convinced I'm going to eat it, only to resist the urge, push through and drink copious water instead. The pang passes, a clarity of mind pierced then sleep beckons and before I know it is morning and time for the breaking of the fast anyway!
Why fasting you may wonder? Personally I practice to put my body into the metabolic state of ketosis…a state our bodies used to regularly enter before many societies moved to diets filled densely with carbohydrates. Ketosis is important because it helps us to burn stores, reduce inflammation, expel toxins and encourages cells to produce more mitochondria per cell (responsible for powering cells with the energy needed to perform important functions be it eliminating toxins or pumping blood…without healthy mitochondria cells simply cannot function!!)
And the second is my (almost) daily breathwork of uddiyana bhanda. No matter how often I practice, there is a profound mental barrier when first entering and doing the first 4-5 rounds. I almost give up, gasping for air even though I know I can hold my breath longer. The warmth that quickly arises is uncomfortable. Sometimes I need to rush to the loo. My eyeballs hurt and solar plexus feels strange. It is not until the final rounds where I find a state of relaxation and peace in the motions and with this my jaw starts to tremble, my body convulses, my whole abdomen area sort of sucks in and locks like the last swirl of bathwater rushing down the drain and a curious warm sensation flows with force upwards along my spine and into my head. A lightness emerges, a sense of balance and a dynamism. I cannot explain much more than this as it is still early days of the relationship!
And why uddiyana bhanda? For one, there is something nourishing about having a routine breath work practice in the morning to flood my body and organs full of life force and in the process sense into a sort of bodily reverence and awareness. And, it is said to improve both vagal and solar plexus tone, which in turn supports the body’s parasympathetic nervous system response, calms the mind and keep organs functioning smoothly. The digestive organs are also activated, receiving more blood which supports detoxification and digestion.
And, what does clay have to say?
When working with clay on the wheel we are encouraged to keep adding water to avoid any friction between our hands and the clay. Friction might cause the piece to wobble, go off center, fall apart. But some of my favourite creations have unfurled in this way. It is as though the piece has created itself…I had no vision or intention, the mistake simply became the asset. The resistance was absolutely necessary for beauty to emerge.
Many change-makers also reflect that resistance is an almost guaranteed step in their journey, if the friction is not felt then is deep change possible? If we instead accepted this inevitably, could we redirect energy towards making sure we are nourishing ourselves with practices of renewal, building support systems around us, topping up our enthusiasm and, of course, eating well? Perhaps with this we can pay attention to the spaciousness that arrives from this quality of being, and in this same spaciousness we might feel courageous to try new things.
Could this be the new way of corporate meetings?
Recently I have been experiementing with punctuating meditative, grounding techniques into online meetings and in person workshops. It has been interesting to observe how the initial resistance to these techniques (mainly out of fear of the unknown or the fallacy of limited time) quite quickly disolves and new ways of seeing arrive. There is almost this new dimension of freedom and space that serves to benefit the higher purpose of the meeting. A feeling of togetherness takes root that fertilises motivations for better understanding problems and different points of view.
It would have been easy for people to simply let the uncomfortable pang of resistance dominate and choose to refuse their participation, yet I believe what I am sensing is a longing to slow down, a longing to be present for one and other and the world, and a curiosity into the creative potential that this might bring.
This is not mindfulness in service of greater output and productivity, but mindfulness as a rememberance to the inner peace within us all. An opportunity to touch that peace in synchronicity with those we are seated amongst, even when in the dynamism of our professional lives.
So perhaps sometimes we do need effort-full action? The path of least resistance might not always be the most fulfilling...
Where do you feel resistance in life? Where in your body do you feel that resistance? Does it have pleasant qualities or is it telling you something? Is your resistance just a blocker to ‘doing hard things’, an avoidance strategy?
When might we be mistaking resistance for intuition? A calm knowing that is inviting us to act…
When you’ve chosen to stay with uncomfortable situations have you ever begun to actually sense into a surprising goodness and ease?
Et voila, et voila…there goes number two into the ether! Again, unsure of where I am going with this, but let’s see how it evolves! And, feedback appreciated - did anything resonate? Was there anything you’d like to hear more about? How were you left feeling?
Merciiiii and warm wishes, Tash
x
What’s been sparking my curiosity?
Hearing: the cacophony of evening birds whilst sitting in collective meditation in our beautiful first Nairobi sangha: ‘feeding the right side’
Seeing: a thirty year old truly wild, truly mixed garden - aromatic rosemary and knobbly peppers interwoven with lemongrass, bright blue borage and voluptuous cabbages. Zero uniformity, zero rows, zero pests in sight, nor the need for any spraying…nature at it’s best and most abundant!
Tasting: warm creamy fresh coconut milk spiked with nutmeg and cardamom…I am sure that the process of making this from scratch elevated the flavour!
Smelling: the remnants of rich mushroomy clay under my fingernails and in unintended places!
Touching: ice cold water cocooning my body as foolishly plunge into a turquoise green Mt Kenya lake positioned at 4291m
Feeling: a deepening sense that everything will be okay, that although I am discombobulated from my ordinary; as Einstein once said “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it”; if the old me wasn’t working for my body then shaking things up is necessary!
